Watch Me Fall
by Boredette
Summary: There has only ever been one human being who has made Sebastian Smythe want to be a better person. This is their story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know what you're thinking - does she really need another WIP? She's already got like a million to finish.**

**Well guess what? None of them are Smythofsky, so yeah.**

**These two are seriously my new OTP. I've given them a lot of thought, so I hope you enjoy this.**

**This first chapter (even though it contains dialogue from the last episode) is set before Klaine meet Sebastian.**

**Okay, now that we're all on the same page - enjoy!**

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><p>Sebastian didn't normally drink until he couldn't remember his name. There had been a few occasions, but on the whole he knew his limits. He usually only allowed himself to get buzzed enough to loosen up and have a good time. Throwing up at five in the morning had never really seemed like an example of that to him.<p>

Tonight, however, was different. Tonight was about forgetting everything - from his name to his fucked up situation. Tonight he didn't want to have anything to do with his life.

He had chosen Scandals as his watering-hole of choice; mainly because it was seedy enough that his prep-school-pushing family wouldn't come looking for him, but also because a gay bar seemed to be a logical hang-out for a gay guy who became heavily promiscuous under the influence.

Sebastian's first couple of drinks went down so quickly that he felt a slight buzz from the sheer speed at which he had drank them. Normally, the slight tingle he felt would be the warning that he was approaching his limit (which was normally a lot higher). Tonight, however, it served as a reminder that he still had a long way to go before he could feel numb.

It was halfway through his fourth drink that he realised that he had to do something about the background music. The thing about Scandals being the only gay bar in homophobic Lima was that gay men of any and every age came there to find escape and (occasionally) romance. As a result, the average playlist for an evening was a horrible garble of '70s and '80s tracks. Sebastian could almost guarantee that "YMCA" would play at least three times in an evening and there was only so much Village People a guy could take.

Bearing this in mind, and determined to educate the patrons of Scandals on what real music was, he made his way over to the jukebox in the corner, desperately praying to find a song that wasn't older than he was. He had just found the perfect track when someone approached him slowly from behind.

"So how do you get a guy to like you?" asked the unmistakeable voice of Dave Karofsky. Sebastian's stomach did a small back-flip as he turned to briefly glance at him. He would never admit it, but Sebastian liked him. They had spoken a few times, being the only people their age at Scandals, and every single time, Sebastian found himself more and more attracted to him. Dave had a kind of nervousness about him - like he wasn't used to just being himself - which Sebastian found absolutely adorable.

He wanted more than anything now to just sit down and talk to him about football and his new public school, but he couldn't. He didn't want any kind of relational complications tonight – it led to thinking and thinking was bad when you were trying to forget.

Hating himself for what he was about to do, Sebastian turned back to the jukebox.

"You? Get a guy? Please," he said, with a smirk on his face that he didn't mean.

"Why? What's wrong with me?" said Dave, immediately recoiling. Sebastian felt a pang in his stomach at the tone of his voice, but steeled himself. If he was going to do this, he may as well do it properly.

"Firstly, you're about a hundred pounds overweight," he said, as he checked which number to press for the song he wanted. "Quit waxing your eyebrows – you look like Liberace."

He straightened up and placed a condescending hand on Dave's shoulder.

"In fact, just stay in the closet, buddy," he said with one final smirk before heading to bar to try and erase the last two minutes of his life, leaving behind a dazed and hurt Dave.

A while later and after a few more drinks, Sebastian felt the overwhelming need to dance. Of course, he couldn't just dance with anyone. They had to be at least relatively good-looking and more or less his own age. He just couldn't feel comfortable dancing with a forty-year-old balding guy.

As he scanned the bar, there was only one guy who met his standards and he actually looked drunk enough to take him up on his offer.

He made his way over to the other side of the bar counter where Dave was sitting, picking at the label of his beer with his thumb.

"Hey you," said Sebastian in a flirty voice, sitting down on the bar stool next to him as gracefully as he could given the amount of alcohol in his system.

"What do you want, Sebastian?" asked Dave, annoyed. Sebastian supposed it was understandable, given what he had said to him earlier. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember why he had even been such a douche to him in the first place. Sebastian shook his head as if trying to clear the thoughts away, and looked up at Dave who was still staring at him expectantly.

"You," replied Sebastian darkly. "You to dance with me."

"You sure I'm not too fat for you? I don't want to smother you on the dance floor or anything like that," said Dave, angrily setting his drink down on the table.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said before. I say stuff without thinking because I'm scared of letting myself feel anything," said Sebastian, taking Dave's hand. "I really do want to dance with you though."

Dave frowned at him for a few moments, as if he was trying to work out if he could trust him or not and Sebastian tried to look as genuine as possible. He wasn't sure if it was just the alcohol or if he was just being honest for the first time in a long time, but he really wanted Dave to believe him.

"You're going to have to teach me how," said Dave with a shy smile and Sebastian grinned. Still clutching Dave's hand, he led him to the dance floor.

"It's really easy," said Sebastian with a smirk. "You just... move."

He gyrated his hips in time to the music, knowing that that was something he could definitely do and found to his delight that Dave's eyes were fixed firmly on them as he swayed.

"Now you try," said Sebastian, laughing at the expression on Dave's face when he stopped to watch him. Dave's expression quickly turned to panic as he realised what Sebastian had just said.

"Seb, I..." he said staring at him with a horrified expression.

"Just try," said Sebastian with a smile. "In any case, even if you do look like a dumbass, we're so drunk that we won't even remember it tomorrow."

With a self-conscious smile, Dave began to move his hips... disastrously. He looked like someone who was trying to hula-hoop but couldn't.

"Okay, let me help you out," said Sebastian with a chuckle, moving around Dave so that he was standing behind him. He slowly placed his hands on Dave's hips, his hands locking into position, pulling Dave closer so that there was very little space between them. Sebastian thought he might have heard a small whimper escape from Dave, but it was so loud on the dance floor that he couldn't really be sure.

"Now," he whispered straight into Dave's ear, "I'm going to move and you just follow the movement, okay?"

"Okay," Dave choked out. Sebastian smirked and slowly began moving his hips, realising moments too late that this was probably a mistake. Dave, now that he had some guidance, was moving his hips perfectly and the sudden friction caused Sebastian to audibly gasp. Dave stopped and turned around embarrassed.

"Sorry, Seb," he murmured, "I know I suck, but I am trying."

"Shut up," said Sebastian, leaning down to capture Dave's lips in a deep, needy kiss. Dave made a small noise of surprise before parting his lips, allowing Sebastian entrance. The kiss was clumsy because of the alcohol – with too much tongue and too much teeth – but fuck if this wasn't the most amazing thing Sebastian had ever experienced. He wound his arms around Dave's hips, pulling him closer and closing the small space between their bodies. For the first time in a long time, Sebastian forgot everything – even the things the alcohol didn't reach. All that mattered was the feel of Dave against him, the unfamiliar scent of him, the taste of him. Sebastian couldn't care less about the rest of the world, as long as he could stay in this moment forever.

And all too soon, Dave was pulling away with a horrified look on his face. Sebastian's stomach clenched nervously.

"What? Was it something I did?" he asked with wide eyes.

"This... this isn't me," said Dave, his eyes wide as he backed away from Sebastian. "You were just insulting me like, not even an hour ago and now I'm suddenly making out with you in the middle of the dance floor at some skeezy bar?"

"Dave, don't..." said Sebastian, reaching out to place a hand softly on Dave's shoulder, but he shrugged him off.

"No," said Dave. "It's like you said – we won't even remember it in the morning."

"Dave..." Sebastian repeated hopelessly as Dave turned on his heel and walked out of the bar. He suspected the alcohol had a lot to do with the angry tears stinging his eyes, but then again he was rarely this drunk, so he couldn't be sure.

However, hammered as he was, he was sober enough to know that he would probably never experience anything like that again.

Dave was the only person who had ever made him want to apologize.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, let me know what you think as the story progresses. I really enjoy writing them. Especially Sebastian. He's such a dick.**

**I'll update soon! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, sorry I took so long to update this, but work and Klaine week and... you know...**

**I'm going to stop making excuses now. **

**I skillfully avoided using direct dialogue because I can't find the scenes anywhere. I feel I should be congratulated.**

**JK**

**Anyway, really hope you enjoy this! **

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><p>Sebastian had no idea what was wrong with him. Ever since that amazing night at Scandals he hadn't been able to think of the place without getting goosebumps – and that just wasn't him. He didn't believe in love at first sight or soul-mates or any of that romantic bullshit. Clearly his body was telling him that he needed another night out to erase the last one.<p>

However, he couldn't deny that he really did want to know who the guy was. He had is suspicions that it was Dave, but since the last thing he remembered was insulting him, he didn't know how to resolve the two scenes in his mind.

If Dave was the guy from the dance- floor though, Sebastian thought he deserved to be bitch-slapped for being the world's biggest dumbass. Assuming Dave was sober enough to remember that night, he probably would want nothing to do with Sebastian. Not that he'd blame the guy. Sebastian really knew how to be a dick sometimes.

If he was going to confirm or disprove his suspicions, he realised he had to be smart about it. He would have to find a subtle way of finding out what Dave really thought of him. What he needed was a guy. A hot guy. A hot guy he could take to Scandals and dance with.

Sadly, although there were a number of students at Dalton who fit the criteria, none of them were really what Sebastian was looking for. There were a few pretty good looking gay guys, but none that he could see himself spending an entire evening with. They had to be at least mildly tolerable.

A group of blazer-clad boys filed into the senior commons and like the creatures of habit and routine they were, immediately sat down in their usual seats.

If there was a guy at Dalton who fit the bill, it was certainly none of these boys. Granted, a few of them were nice to look at, but none of them really made him sit up and pay attention – none of them made his heart race. He wanted his act to be at least somewhat convincing. In any case, as far as he was aware, he was the only out gay Warbler and Sebastian didn't go for straight guys. He liked easy prey.

"Warblers, Warblers," said Thad, head of the Warbler council as his fellow council member banged his gavel to try to call the meeting to order. "Before we continue our rehearsal of Billy Joel's 1983 hit, I feel that I should inform you that I received a text this morning from none other than Blaine Anderson, saying that he plans to visit us this afternoon."

Excited murmuring broke out through the commons and although Sebastian had never met the guy, he had to admit that even he was excited. With the way the Warblers practically worshipped him and the way they described him, what was there not to be excited about?

"Warblers!" said Thad, calling the meeting back to order. "Now I know that we're all thrilled at the possibility, but let's not let that detract from our performance. As part of our experiment on how best to replace Blaine's flawless vocals, we will be giving Warbler Nick a chance to lead the song along with myself and new member, Sebastian. Are there any objections to this decision?"

The room was silent, all eyes trained expectantly on Thad.

"Very well then, I call this rehearsal open."

They had just gotten into position and begun singing the opening harmonies when he walked in and damn if he wasn't every bit as dreamy as he had been led to believe.

He looked like what would happen if old Hollywood and Elvis had a baby and Sebastian couldn't help the racing of his heart or the diabolical thoughts that began running through his mind.

Yes, this was exactly what he needed.

As the song progressed, Sebastian sang directly to him, trying to make his intentions blatantly obvious. In return, he received perplexed and bashful smiles. Not only was he incredibly good-looking, he was adorable too. Sebastian could definitely work with that.

Blaine was perfect – all Sebastian had to do was lay the trap.

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><p>Things with Blaine were going really well. Even though he seemed a little stand-offish on their first meeting, Sebastian did manage to get his details and organise a coffee date, which could only be a good sign.<p>

The coffee date turned out to be where he encountered his first problem. When Sebastian told Blaine that he didn't care that he had a boyfriend, he really meant it. It wasn't like he was planning to fall in love with Blaine or anything. He didn't need full commitment or anything crazy like that. He was literally a means to an end (although he wouldn't complain about getting some of Blaine's end - if he offered).

Sebastian, however, hadn't been prepared for Kurt Hummel. At all.

It was one thing to be concerned about your boyfriend chatting to someone far more attractive than you, and another thing to go full-scale bitch and practically wrap yourself around his body like a fucking boa constrictor. _I get the point_, Sebastian remembered thinking in frustration.

If it had been anyone else, Sebastian probably would have backed off and found someone else, but Kurt was just another level of annoying and he now had a point to prove. Someone had to put Kurt Hummel back in line. Sebastian figured he might as well be the one to do it.

So, being the generous person he was and knowing that he would be doing an immense favour to society by knocking Kurt down a few pegs, he invited both Blaine and Kurt to Scandals. He then made sure that he spoke to Blaine at least once every day. He could tell that it made Blaine uncomfortable and the poor guy was forever trying to find polite ways of escaping conversation, but Sebastian couldn't feel too sorry for him. He would see that it was worth it someday. His new mantra became "whatever will piss Kurt off most" and he congratulated himself on managing to live up to it well enough.

The night of the Scandals meet-up came and Sebastian wasn't sure at the end of it, if it had been a success or not. Sure Kurt and Blaine had left together earlier than Sebastian had anticipated, but Blaine had spent most of the night dancing with him while Kurt spoke to Dave.

That was something that further solidified his animosity towards Kurt. Did they know each other? It seemed like it. And even though they only seemed to be friends, it was _Dave_ – the only reason he had bothered with Blaine in the first place. Just the sight of them together was enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck rise angrily, which really pissed Sebastian off because he just wasn't the jealous type.

After Kurt and Blaine finally left, Sebastian made his way tiredly to the counter to order himself another drink. He sat down heavily next to Dave who gave him an amused look.

"No luck?" he said in a mischievous tone that Sebastian didn't even know could belong to him.

"Not yet," Sebastian replied steadily, taking a swig from his newly acquired beer. "So you know Hummel?"

"He goes to my old school," Dave replied simply. This wasn't nearly enough information for Sebastian.

"Well, are you friends?" he pushed, wanting to know what was going on between them.

"Friends?" Dave said slowly, as if trying out the word on his tongue. "Yeah, I guess we are now."

"Someone has to be," Sebastian muttered under his breath. The most annoying thing about Kurt, he realised, was that he was so good at making things that were straightforward, impossibly complicated. He had thought it would be a simple matter of dancing with Blaine, pushing Kurt away and trying to make Dave jealous. Kurt and Dave being friends had thrown a new spanner in the works and Sebastian was now acutely aware that he was the one being made to feel jealous – even if it wasn't intentional.

He tried to think of something else to talk to Dave about – something that would distract him – and stupidly said the first thing on his mind.

"Sorry about the other night. I don't really know what happened, I just - "

"Hey, it's okay," said Dave giving Sebastian a small clap on the shoulder, as he stood up to leave. "We weren't going to remember it in the morning anyway right?"

He tipped his cap with a wink, making his way out of the bar and I couldn't help but stare. Sebastian now knew that Dave was _definitely_ the guy from the dance floor, which meant that he had _definitely_ fucked up big time.

And he wasn't quite sure how he was going to make things right again.

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><p><strong>AN: Because Dave would totally troll Sebastian all the time.**

**Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, so it turns out that this story is going to be a lot shorter than I originally thought it would be. **

**This is quite a long chapter, so I hope it makes up for the fact that I am the worst fic updater ever.**

**Seriously, I hope you enjoy this one. I'm rather proud of it.**

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><p>Sebastian was now more determined than ever to get Blaine. He couldn't see things resolving romantically between Dave and him and Blaine was a pretty good consolation prize. He couldn't deny though, that about ninety percent of what was driving him was his unquenchable desire to hurt Kurt Hummel.<p>

Every time Sebastian even thought the name he felt his skin prickle with anger. How was it even possible for someone to be so inconveniently in the way?

Their encounter at the Lima Bean a few days before, while initiated by him, had left Sebastian feeling murderous. He was good at playing it cool in the heat of the moment, but afterwards he found himself shaking with uncontrollable rage.

He did _not_ look like a meerkat. And what did "You smell like Craigslist" even mean? If it was stab at the Craigslist killer, Sebastian felt that a small part of him should congratulate Kurt on an incredibly witty insult. It didn't make it any less infuriating, however.

Somewhere between encounters, Sebastian really snapped. He wasn't going to play it cute any longer. He would stalk Blaine until he realized that someone as gorgeous as him deserved way better than Kurt Hummel and Kurt would realise that Sebastian Smythe always got what he wanted.

Though he realised that nothing would probably come of it, Sebastian was still determined to become friendly with Dave. He couldn't stand the idea of not being on speaking terms with the guy. And although he knew it would take a long time to make up for the things he had said to him that night, Sebastian was willing to do what it took. Talking to Dave and getting to know him only solidified what Sebastian already knew – that Dave was perfect.

He was very evasive when it came to speaking about his past, but Sebastian didn't mind waiting for him to open up in that sense. He could understand that everyone had skeletons in their closet and he didn't see how Dave would be any different.

Which is why Sebastian was so surprised when, one night at Scandals, Dave gave him a serious look and asked if he could ask Sebastian something.

"Sure," he replied, trying to make it look like he wasn't desperate to hear what Dave might ask.

"How do you know when you're falling for someone?" Dave asked, an adorable blush creeping into his cheeks, making him seem even more baby-faced than usual.

Well shit. Sebastian didn't think that this was about him at all. It could be about anyone – someone at his school, one of his friends, someone at Scandals... Yet Sebastian couldn't quell the sudden hope that had sprung up from inside of him. Maybe he wasn't wishing for nothing.

"Well," said Sebastian, replacing his beer on the counter carefully, "I guess you first notice it when you see them and your stomach seems to somersault and your heart can't seem to stop beating at top speed."

Sebastian looked directly into Dave's eyes, hoping to convey through them what he was too afraid to articulate.

"Pretty soon your hear t races just thinking about them," he continued, "and you feel that if you don't do something about it, your life might just end or something. You start losing your appetite and you just can't stop wondering what it might take to get them to choose you.

Dave was looking down at his lap with a slight frown on his face, like he was thinking hard about something.

"Look, I don't want to be invasive or anything, and you can feel free to tell me if I am," said Sebastian carefully, not wanting to get his hopes up too high. "Can I ask you what brought this on?"

Dave considered Sebastian for a moment as if to check that he was being genuinely concerned or not. Sebastian knew for certain that he was. This wasn't the kind of situation he would ever mess around with.

"I feel kinda like all of the things you just described were about me," said Dave, eventually. Sebastian didn't even bother trying to tell his heart to stop beating so furiously. Dave took a deep breath before uttering the next sentence.

"I think I'm falling pretty hard for Kurt Hummel."

Sebastian had never felt anything like it - jealousy, rage, rejection, sadness and just pain like he had never experienced before.

Why was it always Kurt Hummel?

"I know it's crazy because he's got Blaine, but I can't help but feel that if I show him how much I've changed - that I'm not the same person I used to be - he might change his mind.

Sebastian wasn't really listening. All he could think was that he wanted Kurt's blood. He wanted to hurt Kurt worse than he had hurt him so far.

"Hey, are you okay?" Dave asked, placing a concerned hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

"What? Oh yeah, no. I just think that the bar nuts aren't agreeing with me," said Sebastian. He really didn't want Dave to think that what he was feeling was because of him. This was all Kurt's overly interfering fault.

"I keep telling you not to eat those, man," said Dave with a small chuckle. "You should probably head home then. Not that I'm trying to get rid of you - it's just that I don't think Ed will appreciate you puking all over his bar counter."

"Yeah, you're right,' Sebastian said, standing up shakily, not sure what he was going to do. Dave stood up too and before Sebastian knew what was happening, Dave was pulling him into a tight hug.

"Thanks for listening to me, Seb," he whispered. "You didn't need to, but thanks for doing it anyway."

"You're welcome," said Sebastian, relaxing into the embrace.

"Get better soon. Or else," said Dave in a mock threatening voice.

"Point taken," said Sebastian with a weak smile, making his way out of the bar and to his Mercedes.

He waited until he was around the corner before he let the hot, angry tears fall to his lap.

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><p>"Look, Thad, I know you have a great many responsibilities as a prefect and a head boy and senior year is mental at the best of times. I've seen how drained you look. My only other extra mural is lacrosse. If you would allow me to lead the Warblers for a small while, it would give you some time to catch up with everything."<p>

"It would help if I didn't have to organize the Warblers for a while," said Thad, with a thoughtful look before breaking into a smile. "I really like the idea, Sebastian. We just need to put it to a Warbler vote, but I don't see many objecting too much."

And as Thad predicted, a vast majority voted for the change in leadership. Sebastian figured that this was because they too noticed how swamped he had been lately. Let it never be said that the Warblers didn't look after their own.

As he took his seat behind the council desk, he knew exactly what he was going to do.

"Warblers, first of all, I thank you for instating me as your new head of council. As my first act of duty, I wish to propose that we sing a selection of Michael Jackson songs at Regionals."

There was a mixed murmuring through the commons. Some Warblers seemed excited at the prospect of it, others seemed to not think it such a good idea.

"The New Direction sang a medley of Jackson songs for their Sectionals performance and they were incredible. It is my informed understanding that they plan to do the same for Regionals."

Trent threw his hand into the air and Sebastian had to force himself not to roll his eyes. If anyone was going to have an objection, it would be him.

"Yes, Warbler Trent?" said Sebastian, watching the tone of his voice carefully, trying not to reveal how much he wanted to slap him in that that moment.

"For as long as I've been a Warbler, I've never known them to sink to theft tactics," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"And as far as I'm aware, you haven't been to Nationals in, what, fifteen years?" said Sebastian with a smirk. Trent sat down slowly, defeated, and Sebastian continued. "It's a New World out there, Warblers. While our tradition has afforded us unity and a unique sound, it has also hindered us and kept us from being as amazing and breathtaking as some of the other acts have recently been."

The room was dead silent, and Sebastian knew that he had made his point. The Warbler's were his now and he was going to make sure he used them properly.

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><p>He knew to expect a fight the moment he told the New Directions that they would be doing Michael at Regionals. They seemed to be the kind of people who couldn't put anything to rest without giving it the maximum amount of drama first. It was made them so easy to manipulate.<p>

He didn't, however, expect to be called into an abandoned parking lot at some crazy hour of the night so that they could have a sing-off to determine who got to keep Michael. But since they were, Sebastian had come prepared. Kurt literally wouldn't know what hit him.

The sing-off, although highly over-the-top and completely unnecessary, turned out to be quite fun. The Warblers' vocals blended quite nicely with the New Directions' and Sebastian had to admit that it was nice to have some female sounds in the mix.

Towards the end of the song, Sebastian commissioned the Warblers to bring him the large paper bag he had brought from the convenience store on the corner, warning them to be careful with it. Sebastian grinned as it reached his hands and he pulled the contents out carefully. It felt good to have a weapon of this power at his disposal. Not only was the slushie all kinds of massive, but he had doctored it with rock salt – an extra little surprise he was sure that Kurt would appreciate.

As the song drew to a close, he found himself in the perfect position to throw the slushie. Kurt was directly in front of him, bitch-face in place and Sebastian knew that that was the moment. His arm extended and he tossed the contents into the air.

However, instead of landing on Kurt's annoying face, Blaine, being the gentleman he was, had pushed Kurt out of the way. The screams that came from him were chilling and the glares from the New Directions were just as frigid. Silently, the Warblers walked away with him leading the pack, leaving Blaine's new teammates to deal with the consequences of what he had done.

That wasn't what Sebastian wanted to have happen at all. He had wanted to hurt Kurt. Kurt was the one who was supposed to feel his pain – to know how much he had hurt him. But of course his perfect boyfriend would jump in because that's how things worked out in Kurt's perfect world.

Feeling more ashamed of himself than he ever had before, Sebastian drove home, changed into his everyday clothes and made his way to Scandals, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts. He sat at the bar, picking at the label of his beer, trying not to let his mind wander to its dark place.

Before he could even properly register the hot tears running down his cheeks, he felt a hard shove on his shoulder.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" asked Dave angrily. Sebastian screwed his eyes tightly shut. Everything sounded worse when Dave said it. "I just heard that Kurt's in the emergency room with Blaine because apparently you tossed a spiked slushie into his face. Like, seriously, what is your problem?"

Sebastian turned around to face him and Dave's anger seemed to dissipate. Instead of continuing with his rant to Sebastian, he sat down next to him and placed a hand on his forearm.

"Why'd you do it, Seb?" he asked, softer, but no less demanding.

Sebastian shook his head, tears falling all the harder. Dave slipped his hand into Sebastian's and let him outside. They sat down on the curb, Dave still tightly holding his hand.

"Okay, I swear, no judgement – God knows I've done worse," he said, softly stroking Sebastian's hand with his thumb. "What drove you to do it?"

Sebastian, for the first time that night, looked Dave in the eye.

"To be perfectly honest... you."

Dave looked confused and offended, so Sebastian hastily continued.

"Well, more Kurt than you," he said. Dave looked more confused than ever. "The slushie was meant for him. Truthfully, I'm jealous of him. He has this amazing and understanding family from what I understand, a gorgeous boyfriend, prospects of studying in a prestigious performing arts school in New York and... and you're in love with him."

It seemed as if Dave had completely forgotten how to speak, so Sebastian continued.

"More than anything it's because of that. Before, Kurt was just a mild irritation. But after you told me you were falling for him, he became a very personal problem."

"Why?" choked Dave.

"Because I think I'm in love with you," Sebastian admitted quietly.

Dave's eyes widened.

"Look, I don't want to make things awkward between us," said Sebastian softly. "You're pretty much the only one who keeps me from spiralling out of control. I just need you know that the reason for all of this is that I have these feelings that seem way beyond me and I'm still trying to understand them."

Dave took a deep breath, as if steeling himself to say something important.

"Look, Seb," he said, his hand tightening around Sebastian's, "I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have feelings for you. You're one of the most amazing people I know. But I don't know where you are. _You_ don't know where you are. You're almost a different person everytime I see you. And while I really want us to be more than friends, I can't handle the idea that you might change your mind on me."

"I won't change -"

"You say that," said Dave with a half-smile, "but I can't say for certain. You've hurt me pretty badly before, Seb. And I still definitely have feelings for Kurt and until I work out what's happening there, I can't guarantee you anything either."

"So, I've pretty much wrecked this friendship, huh?" said Sebastian, feeling an unfamiliar pang in his chest.

"No, you haven't," said Dave. "It's just that I'm new to this."

They were silent for a while and though the air was heavy with questions and unspoken things, neither of them tried to break it.

"Is there any way you could give me a few weeks of space?" asked Dave after a while. "I just need to think through some things and make some decisions. Basically, I need to sort myself out before I can make any final verdict on us."

"Okay," said Sebastian, feeling numb – not really sure if he was meant to feel anything at all.

Dave pressed his lips lightly to Sebastian's and Sebastian felt his heart swell and break all at the same time.

"It's not a no," he said, before standing up and walking off to his car.

Sebastian knew that the whole point of that conversation had been that there was hope. He just wished he didn't feel so hopeless.

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><p><strong>AN: I've had all the Smythofsky feels this week. This story didn't help.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So, this story is a heck of a lot shorter than I wanted it to be, but five is a nice round number, so that makes up for it.**

**Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews. I keep meaning to thank you and I keep forgetting to. I'm super sorry.**

**Love you all! Hope you enjoy this :)**

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><p>Sebastian had been all for giving Dave the space he needed over the next few weeks. If it meant they ended up together, Sebastian was willing to wait months. In any case, it would give him time to be the guy that Dave needed and deserved.<p>

Sebastian had never experienced this before – wanting someone else's happiness more than his own. Wanting someone else to be proud of him instead of intimidated by him. Wanting someone to like him for who he was and nothing else. He wasn't sure he completely liked it, but he was definitely sure that he didn't hate it. He just had to get used to putting someone else's feelings ahead of his own. He was getting pretty good at it too.

That is, until Valentine's Day.

He couldn't believe it when he heard it - the lengths Dave had gone to for Kurt (A gorilla suit? Really?), the things he had done even though Kurt and Blaine were so in love it made Sebastian want to puke everytime he looked at them. How could Dave be so stupid? How could he do that after what he had admitted at Scandals?

Sebastian was okay with giving him space to sort out his feelings. He definitely wasn't okay with giving him space to make his move on another guy.

Dave tried to call him several times through that week, but Sebastian ignored them. He didn't give a damn. He wasn't going to be the agony aunt who patched up his heart because he was too much of an idiot to realise that it would never work. And he definitely wasn't going to help mend the heart of the guy who got it broken by breaking his in the first place.

Besides, Sebastian had Regionals to worry about.

* * *

><p>His favourite way of taking out his anger was definitely by messing with the New Directions. Nothing made him happier than when they all despised him. Of course, he wouldn't get the Warblers involved this time. They no longer trusted him and though he was still head of council, they fought him on every single thing he suggested anyway.<p>

No, he had his own plans and he wouldn't need the Warblers.

He knew the pictures were badly photoshopped. He knew that no one in their right mind would look at them and seriously think anything of them. That didn't stop Rachel and Kurt having a small freak-out. Their reaction was hilarious because it was so over-the-top. So New Directions. So _McKinley_.

They deserved it though. If it wasn't for them, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. He had every right to take out his pain and frustration on them. And it wasn't like he was hurting anyone this time. Really, this was just a harmless prank. The fact that they were reacting this strongly was insane and had everything to do with their mental and hormonal imbalances.

Dave's calls grew more and more frequent over the next few days and Sebastian carried on ignoring them, to the point where he would shove his phone under one of his pillows and just forget about it. He couldn't deal with those emotions yet.

He would probably never really know what it was that made him check his phone that last time, but he would be forever grateful that he did.

Sebastian could never forget the way his heart seemed to stop, the way his blood ran cold and the way his whole body went numb as he read that text from Dave.

_Seb, I can't do it anymore. I'm not tough like you or Kurt. I can't handle their words or the looks they give me. What's even worse is that I used to be one of them. The guilt and pain are too much for me. I know you aren't talking to me and I don't blame you after what I did. I just wanted you to know, before I escape this world, that you meant so much to me. Goodbye and thank you for everything. All my love – Dave._

He couldn't remember how he got to the car or how he got to Dave's house (though he had never been more thankful for that night he insisted on giving him a lift home), and before he knew what was happening, he was banging on the front door of the Karofsky's home.

A man, who could only be Dave's dad, answered with a puzzled expression.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Please, Mr Karofsky, is Dave home?" Sebastian all but shouted in a panicked and choked tone that he had never heard on himself before.

"Yes, he's upstairs. But he told me he's not feeling great today, so I don't think –"

Sebastian didn't give him a chance to finish before pushing past him and running upstairs. Dave's dad followed him and tried to block his way.

"Okay, I don't know who you are, but you can't just barge into my house like this. I know you must be friends with David, but I've never met you before. There are certain social rules and –"

"Dave sent me a text saying he was going to kill himself!" Sebastian yelled, interrupting Mr Karofsky for a second time.

"David? No... h-he wouldn't," he replied, though his voice shook.

"What? You think I would lie about something like this?" said Sebastian, knowing he probably looked and sounded crazed, but none of it mattered. Dave's life was on the line here and Sebastian wouldn't let it happen. He couldn't let it happen.

Dave's dad was suddenly sprinting to the door at the end of the hallway and Sebastian followed, anxiety burning a hole in his stomach. He had never been so scared about anything in his life.

A scream told Sebastian all he needed to know. His legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground. Dave had done it. He had taken his life and there was now nothing Sebastian could do about it.

If only he had answered those calls! If only he had taken his head out of his ass for one moment, he would have been able to help Dave! He was sure of it!

Instead, he had ignored him and now his dad was screaming at the sight of his body.

Except that Sebastian could now hear that he was screaming words. Words directed at him.

"Kid! Kid! Call 911! Call 911! He's still breathing!"

Hope hit him from out of nowhere. There was still an overwhelming anxiety hanging over him, but Sebastian pushed through it. He had to, if he wanted to have any chance of keeping Dave with him.

Without needing to be told twice, he hastily dialled 9-1-1 on his phone and went to join Mr Karofsky in Dave's bedroom. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight. Dave unconscious, face paling as oxygen found its way around his body again, breathing shallow and the tie that he had clearly used to try to hang himself was lying on the floor next to him. Mr Karofsky was holding him, begging him to stay with him and Sebastian found himself gasping for breath through tears that threatened to suffocate him. Dave _had_ to survive this. He just _had_ to.

The ambulance was there within ten minutes and before Sebastian could really process what was happening, Dave was being rushed off to hospital. He stayed standing outside of Dave's abandoned house for a long time before forcing himself to drive home, all the while hoping and praying that by some miracle, Dave would make a full recovery.

_From this point on,_ he thought to himself as he pulled into his driveway, _things change._

* * *

><p>Sebastian, under normal circumstances, would have found the sight of Kurt and Blaine and the New Direction lesbians (whom he had never bothered to learn the names of) completely hilarious. But he couldn't smile. Not with Dave still in hospital. Not after what had happened.<p>

So he apologised to them. He apologised for his spiked slushie and the inappropriate and ridiculously photoshopped pictures. He told them about his ideas for the Warbler performance – how he planned to dedicate it to Dave and how they planned to take donations for the _Born This Way_ foundation.

He didn't care if none of them believed him – it was just important for him to do it. As they stared suspiciously at him, the memory that had haunted his every thought since the incident flashed across his mind. Him standing by jukebox... Dave coming up to him and asking him so sincerely and earnestly... trying his hardest to flirt... Sebastian ripping him apart... telling him to stay in the closet...

Everything that had led Dave to do what he did was just as much his fault as it was the idiots at his school's and Sebastian was determined to do what he could to make things right.

The Warblers did dedicate their performance to Dave – the first time they had ever done such a thing since their beginning in the 1800s – and though they didn't win, they managed to raise a substantial amount for the foundation.

But Sebastian knew that there was still one more thing he had to do before he could make any kind of peace with the situation. He had to see Dave.

He waited until he had been discharged because he really couldn't handle hospitals since his mother died. Besides, Sebastian didn't want the chance of being overheard.

He didn't understand the nerves he felt walking into Dave's room, but they were there and they were strong. In the short moments before Dave noticed him, Sebastian seriously considered slipping out so that Dave wouldn't even know that he had been there.

But Dave had looked up and given him such a look of surprise and embarrassment, that Sebastian couldn't find it in his heart to go anywhere. Instead, he crossed quickly over to Dave's bed, set down the enormous bouquet of flowers he had brought him and grabbed his hand tightly.

"Hey," was all he could find to say.

"Seb, I –"

"Shh," said Sebastian with a smile. It was as if nothing had changed between them, though he knew that everything had. He was just so happy to have Dave staring back at him, even if it was with a completely broken expression. Although, now Sebastian noticed it, the look worried him. "What's wrong?"

"You... you saved my life, Seb," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Your dad got you down," said Sebastian.

"Yeah, but he wouldn't have found me until it was too late unless you... unless you hadn't..." Dave seemed at a loss for what to say. "I wasn't expecting you to read that text. You were ignoring my calls all week."

"Look, Dave, I'm so sorry I –"

"Don't apologise," said Dave softly. "I was stupid and I hurt you. If I was you I would have done the same thing."

There was a brief silence as Sebastian tried to process everything that was happening, still completely overwhelmed to be holding Dave's hand as they stared at each other.

"Why did you do it, Sebastian?" asked Dave.

"Well, call me selfish... and cheesy, come to think of it," said Sebastian, raising Dave's hand and placing a soft kiss on his knuckles, "but I honestly didn't want to think of living in a world without you."

There was no way Sebastian could have ever prepared for what happened next, because suddenly Dave was kissing him. Deep and desperate and grateful and so full of so many different emotions that Sebastian couldn't stop the tears that trailed down his cheeks.

"You really do care about me then?" asked Dave when they pulled apart. "I'm not just some random hook-up at a gay bar?"

Sebastian's heart broke at the hopeful look in his eyes and for the first time he really understood the damage he had done that night all those months ago – why Dave had left the way he did and why he had been so reluctant to open up to him in the months after that. He understood how much he had hurt Dave, more than Dave had ever hurt him.

"I love you, Dave," said Sebastian earnestly. "It's taken me a while to fully realise it, but when I thought I might lose you the other day..."

"I'm still here," said Dave with a small smile, placing a soft kiss on Sebastian's lips. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You better not," said Sebastian, pressing his forehead to Dave's, feeling happier than he had in years.

In the weeks that followed Dave completely opened up to Sebastian. He told him about his struggle to come to terms with his sexuality, how he had bullied Kurt to the point where he had to transfer to Dalton, how some of the people he cared most about didn't accept him for who he was, how he was terrified of going back to school and about how, despite all this, he was now letting himself dream about a future with someone. With a family.

Sebastian told Dave about how his mother had overdosed on anti-depressants, how his father hated him because of his sexuality but couldn't kick him out because it would cause too much of a scandal, how he never let himself feel anything more than the physical when it came to guys, how he had liked Dave since he saw him and how it had taken that night on the dance floor to make him realise what he really felt for him.

Sebastian didn't know if they would last. He didn't know if Dave was his forever. But he was his for now and that was all he needed to know.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Epilogue to follow! Thank you so much for reading! **


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